Spiritual Enlightenment!? (lengthy)

For a long time I have been struggling to understand myself and the world we live in. Questions like "what is the meaning of life?" "Why am I here?" "What are spirits?" "Am I on the right path?" and so on would constantly come to mind and sometimes they were in fact answered but that doesn't mean I understood that! I feel like the answers are just questions themselves. I've come to terms with not knowing everything and letting life run it's course. Most would tell me to go to church or something like that (specifically a Christian church). I did that most of my whole life. Went to church, joined a prayer and youth group...the whole shabam (even went to a few Catholic schools)! And yet I'm still left with this sort of emptiness. For a while I have just been living my life w/ out the church and unconnected to it but I kept the belief, the belief in God.


Recently I have stumbled upon something, something that may shock others or might be just as normal. I recently found the religion Wicca! Now for those of you that don't know what Wicca is (or you think you know what it is) here's a simple/quick definition of it:


Wicca is a Neopagan religion. Its adherents are referred to as Wiccans, though the terms Witches or Crafters are also used. Developing in England in the first half of the 20th century, Wicca was popularised in the 1950s and early 1960s by a Wiccan High Priest named Gerald Gardner, who at the time called it the "witch cult" and "witchcraft," and its adherents "the Wica." From the 1960s onward, the name of the religion was normalised to "Wicca." Wicca is typically a duotheistic religion, worshipping a goddess and a god. Wiccan beliefs vary markedly between different traditions and individual practitioners. However, various commonalities exist between these disparate groups, which usually include views on theology, the afterlife, magic and morality. This however makes Wicca somewhat difficult to explain b/c there are many denominations and personal beliefs in it. But I think thats what makes is so interesting in the first place. (part of this definition was taken from wikipedia)
I feel that to get a better understanding is to do research on your own and that can be as simple as watching a vid on youtube or going to a Barnes & Noble bookstore (any bookstore or library).


First and foremost people who practice Wicca DO NOT worship the devil/satan. Wiccans do not even believe that the deity Satan exists. Satan represents total evil to most Christians who follow the Christian pantheon, and Wiccans do not believe in "good" or "evil"...  only in neutrality.


Now with all this said I have in no way converted over to Wiccanism. I simply stumbled upon a religion/practice that got my attention. Although the more I research the more I'm liking what I'm reading. The thought of finding and understanding your spirit and soul and being content w/ life is what attracts me to it. And I'm not gonna lie but the thought and act of casting spells and doing ceremonial rituals also got my attention. I've also been very interested in learning about gods and goddesses. I remember when I was young I had created an altar where I pretend worship a goddess. I wasn't the only one, I had other little friends of mine doing the same thing and it was for fun. We would ask the goddess to make us princesses and things like that. Looking back on it now...I think I was on to something. To be truthfully honest I always thought there was goddess if there a god but I never questioned it b/c I didn't want to get ostracized by my parents and get sent to Jesus camp XP. The more I study up on Wicca the more I see it as a beautiful enlightenment and very peaceful. I even found some African Americans that par-take in it as well (it's not just a "white" thing). If I do wind up converting over to this I most likely wouldn't tell anyone (except my best friend Lori who already is thinking about this too) and it won't be posted on here....maybe not until I felt comfortable enough too. Soooooo I hope I didn't scare any one off w/ this >w< I just had to get this out.


Here are some pics of goddesses that I find interesting

Lakshmi

Lakshmi is the Hindu goddess of wealth, prosperity (both material and spiritual), light, wisdom, fortune, fertility, generosity and courage; and the embodiment of beauty, grace and charm.

Oshun

Oshun in the Yoruba religion, is an Orisha (deity) who reigns over love, intimacy, beauty, wealth, fresh water (rivers) and diplomacy. She is worshipped also in Brazilian Candomblé Ketu, with the name spelled Oxum.

Kwan Yin

Kwan Yin is regarded as an emanation of The Amitabha Buddha and as anembodiment of compassion, the quality which Amitabha himself embodies in the highest sense. (She is also as the mother goddess of China)

Here's a pic of an altar someone created for Oshun (I found this pic on tumblr. It belonged to the original poster as well)

Altars can be as simple and sweet as this or very over the top. Altars are usually for holding ceremonial rituals, daily rituals, offerings for the goddess or god or a place for meditation and prayer.