Monday, November 19, 2012

人生のアップデート (Life Update)

I'm more than sorry for not posting as much recently. I feel like I'm always making posts such as these. Right now my life is...or has been in this rocky place. Dealing w/ school, family, friendships, relationships, jobs/money (the lack of) and myself! Just a whole lot of things turning into one huge cluster fuck. It has taken a toll on me a lot b/c my mood swings have been crazy. I have been shutting others out and shutting myself away. While simultaneously trying to bring it all together.

This has also taken a toll on me style wise and artistically. My gal game has been at an all time low b/c I don't have the clothes to show for it. I mean I can take face pics of make up all day but I wish I could start taking more code pics. But who wants to see the same outfit every time? In my head I'm the most fashionable person lol but I just don't have the means to actually do it. By "means" I mean MONEY! And even if I wanted to take pics I have no camera b/c mine broke and all I have left is my web cam which can't take body shots w/ unless I'm super far away from it >w<. Just one thing fuckin up right after the other. By artistically I mean I haven't been drawing as much as I should. I'm an artist! This is what I want to do in life and yet I'm bumming around. This weird depression funk I'm in is something fierce. Never felt like this before.

With all that said and done I'm slowly feeling things getting better. I feel like something is turning in the tides for me. Since I'm trying to get into a new school (which I'm positive I'll be accepted into) I feel like a new chapter of my life is upon me. I'm nervous yet really excited. I also feel myself changing...internally and mentally. I'm hoping this is for the better. I'm using my struggle as something to push me forward. I don't want to be in this place anymore.

On another note...back to art. The latest drawing I've done was for my friend Michelle from FB. She actually paid me for it too. That was the first time I did a commission. I wanna do another! >8D I could use da monies! lol Here that piccy is:

I realize it now how hard it is to draw color things on photoshop w/ out a tablet. Cramped hands is not fun. Hopefully I can get a tablet for Christmas -crosses fingers- >w<


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